It seems that I can't get a vendor to do minimal maintenance on my van. They all insist on removing the controls, sending them back to the company for evaluation and then reinstalling them on my van. This is about $6000 for the entire job and will take at least 2 weeks.  If something was wrong with the controls I'd know it and they all know it too. The company in Maine will not be able to fix anything, since they now have a new version of controls so what's the point! I started to complain in writing but I realized that #1 everything is working; and #2 my ordering new controls has been approved once I get the right job; #3 people with disabilities have worse problems than I do.

I had a very good experience with the Office of Vocational Rehabilitation and I want people to know. Very often I am spoken to in a condescending manner cause I am a client and they (the staff) are in control. This time I had a meeting in which the counselor was primarily concerned with getting me a job so that I will qualify for a new set of hand controls for a new van. It is true that I was in a better frame of mind than usual but also I know the difference between being spoken to with respect and disrespect. Doesn't everyone?

I just spent the morning at a conference on the topic "disability and the arts." Then I have the opportunity to experience disability discrimination from a human resource professional at an agency for disabled! It never stops. The good news is I did some advocacy by re-explaining myself and the she changed her incorrect assumption. Wow. The people who need to be reached will not make the time to learn so we're preaching to the already converted. That's a waste of time.

One can't have a disability and not be a self- advocate, there's just sooooo much unjustice and people have no problem treating you condescendingly. I've been doing this forever and I think nothing of it. It offends people because it come off too strongly and looks like I am a very nasty person. However, if given the option most professionals will take the easy way out and do the least possible job as slowly as possible. My problem is finding the balance because I often seem to have just 1 gear. It makes me undesirable to other people especially those with disabilites cause they're used to being treated poorly and staff is used to "the compiant client." It is worth it though because you are more likely to be respected but it's hard when you know more than the decision makers and they know that you know.

I just attended a really good conference on "Integration" at Millersville University. The speakers said everything that is not normally said. For example: 1) The agencies can't be effective advocates since it's the government regulations that are the problem yet they receive their paychecks from the government. 2) Disability issues do not get anywhere since the people have no power and the politicians only listen to those constituents who have money too get them re-elected. 3) Things are not likely to improve. I hope to continue the momentum and meet with some of the nondisabled in the audience.